who's gonna love you buried underground?

It's that time of the year. For most, school is out and time is being spent lazing around in the summer heat. For me, I'm taking review classes and studying harder than ever for my first round of medical school board exams. Plus, I'm getting ready to move. Goodbye Ken-tuck-eee, hello Miss-ee-sip-ee --- oh, how I have missed you; the deep south is something you just can't get out of your system. Two of my best friends are moving during the summer as well. Lots of change. The start of new beginnings. Preparing for another step in life. We will all be in new places and doing new things once this summer draws to an end.

I have spent too much time this evening staring blankly around my bare living room and quietly daydreaming about where I will put all of my things in my new house. With all of my art and mirrors and shelves removed from hanging on the walls and now propped up against the walls on the floor, it almost looks like I am attempting a new style of decoration. I really want/need to downsize. I have recently discovered a few blogs based on decorating small spaces, and the creativity is outstanding. It makes me want to throw all of my things out of a window and start fresh with less. Alas, I have not reached a point in my life to have the monetary ability to be so spontaneous.

Le sigh. I hate to talk about money, but let me get this off my chest - I am very poor at the moment. To be pursuing such a prestigious, well-paying, socially-highly-ranked career, it sure takes a long and miserable amount of time of being poor to get there. Our school does not allow us to have part-time jobs; they say being a student is our job and we are expected to spend every second of our free time learning something. It makes sense - you want your doctor to know as much as possible, right? I just miss being as carefree and spontaneous as I was in college. Granted, I was never wealthy, but having a job, making my own money, paying my own bills from my own hard work.... that felt a lot better than living off of loans. I just have to get through these next two years... and I hate rushing my life like that. I want to enjoy every single day, but that is hard to do when school completely runs your life and bogs you down.

Alas, these next two years have a lot in store:

-One of my best friends is getting married this winter, and I have the honor of being a bridesmaid.
-This is my wedding planning year; one year from now I will be married to the love of my life. I have purchased my wedding dress, but for the life of me I cannot decide on bridesmaids dresses. Good thing I have plenty of time...
-Said love of my life has an interview for an amazing job opportunity coming up soon. I can't wait to see where this takes us.
-If I can make it through this summer, I will officially be DONE with taking classes as a student, and the rest of my education will be hands-on, in the hospital - I am extremely excited about this.
-I don't know where I will be living once married next year, where I will be spending my 4th year of school, or where I will be once I graduate. That is scary and exhilarating at the same time.

My life at the moment is crazy, weird, complicated, unfair, difficult, depressing, exciting, uncomfortable, exhausting, and completely wonderful all at the same time.



I stumbled across some old college pics. For some reason, I am completely obsessed with this one. I miss those days.