Tuesday, October 13, 2009
perfection that others would kill for
she walks by quietly... all alone and obviously absorbed in her own thoughts. she wakes up each morning wondering why she has to wake up... she remembers why. she wants to learn, she wants to do well, she wants to achieve her dreams. she dreads the day... familiar faces along the routine path do not turn her way... so she watches the squirrels and she breathes in the air and she pauses to feel the heat of the sun pressing gently on her cheeks. there are no enthusiastic greetings to be enjoyed... yet the rare instances in which someone smiles at her are relished and desired... she longs to be acknowledged... to be heard... to be seen... she wants a friend here. someone who will run up to her with such excitement that it takes her breath away... but for the moment she is satisfied as the breeze lifts her hair from her shoulders. she is happy to be alone in this moment... she is entirely content as she keeps a steady pace walking along the sidewalk... she observes those around her... the couples holding hands and laughing at every word spoken... the guys with their tucked-in polos and sunglasses... the girls with the over-sized purses and glittering cell phones that seem constantly glued to the sides of their beautiful faces... beautiful... what is beauty? she has been termed "beautiful" more than once before... yet still she stares in the mirror each day in a desperate attempt to find what is beautiful. she is nothing like the girls she sees on the sidewalk... they do not accept her for who she is... they look down on her, but she pays them no attention... murmurs of conversation surround her, and she finds herself wishing to be a part of one... but... she loves to think... she loves to analyze... the silence of being alone lets her do this. she reaches the end of the walk... she reluctantly brushes away her thoughts and snaps back to reality... people rushing in every direction... late for class... but she is happy.
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