i cry my tears and smear my makeup and consume my drink and shut out the daylight and laugh at myself because no one else is here to do so. i push away friends and throw things around and make a big mess and pull on my hair because no on else is here to stop me. i throw my fits and punch my pillows and then stare blankly out my window with nothing on my mind. absolutely nothing. it's as if i have completely drained myself of all emotion.
i sing in the shower and dance around my room and smile at everyone i see because i'm so happy and nothing can ruin my day. i hug my friends and wave to people passing by and laugh at myself for even considering frustration in a moment of stress. i walk quickly and lightly with an optimistic outlook and at the end of the day i stare blankly out my window with nothing on my mind. absolutely nothing.
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